


I Read About the Afterlife But I Never Really Lived

by blinkfloyd



Series: Goodbye To Sleep [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Play, Awkward Sexual Situations, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Inappropriate Erections, M/M, Mutual Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-04
Updated: 2013-08-04
Packaged: 2017-12-22 10:43:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/912265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blinkfloyd/pseuds/blinkfloyd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I think I might know what caused this, but I’d need to get Sam to do some research. No wonder he hasn’t already found any known lore about angels and holy water.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Read About the Afterlife But I Never Really Lived

It’s an average night of hunting for the team. Sam and Castiel are sprinting down a basement hallway, demon chasing behind to try to catch Sam. Generic job. Nothing unusual.

But this time Dean has a plan. They’re gonna lure the demon into a specific room, one which is rigged with a large tub of holy water hanging from the ceiling. Dean is stationed with a knife near a rope holding one side of it up. When Sam signals, Dean will cut the rope, causing the holy water to dump out and cover the entire room. Cas will stand by to hold him in place while he’s down, and the demon will be stunned long enough for Sam to pull the spirit out of him.

“Almost there,” Cas yells.

In a matter of seconds, they reach the room. “Now, Dean!” Sam yells at the moment he reaches the target spot, Cas and demon following immediately after.

Dean cuts the rope and, as planned, gallons of holy water shower down upon Cas, Sam, and the demon. Cas follows his cue and pins his arms to the floor. Dean sprints from his position to make sure the demon is securely trapped.

With a tense look on his face, Sam extends his arm toward them. Black smoke billows from the vessel’s mouth to confirm that the plan was successful. The body limply falls to the ground.

“Oh, we got an empty shell, then,” Dean remarks.

Dean and Cas stand up, Cas stumbling a bit more awkwardly than Dean. “Welp, I guess we can call it a day,” Dean says as he starts toward the door. Sam follows, but Cas remains where he stands, dripping wet with holy water.

Cas should have apparated away by now. Sam nudges Dean to direct his attention.

Dean raises his eyebrows. “Whatcha doin’ Cas? Lucifer got your wings?”

“Um.” Cas says, his attention intently directed straight downward. Sam and Dean exchange glances and begin to catch on. They hope their assumptions are wrong, but at least they can count on Cas to verify, in his naivety to human etiquette.

“It seems to me that there is an intense rush of blood in my groin, and it’s very difficult to ignore,” Cas says.

Yep. Verified.

Dean feels himself beginning to blush but attempts to suppress it with a straight face. “One moment please,” he says and turns away to speak to Sam.

“What the hell are we supposed to do?” Dean says in a hiss.

Sam replies, “Well this doesn’t seem like an appropriate time for him to return to heaven, I can say that much.”

“Come on man, be serious for a second. This isn’t something we’ve ever planned for.”

“Well, it seems to me that our only option is to bring him back to the motel and just... figure it out from there.”

“Are you even hearing yourself?” Sam says. “Bringing a guy with an erection back to our motel?”

“It just doesn’t seem like there’s anything else to do, okay?”

Sam shrugs. “Whatever, I guess we’ll do that. It is a pretty bad idea to wander the streets alone at night with a boner, anyway.”

They break apart so Dean can approach Cas once more. “We’ll take you back to the motel with us. Just hold on.” There is a brief pause as Cas just looks at them blankly.

“Oh, alright,” Cas says as he slowly and confusedly reaches for his groin.

“NOT-” Dean snaps, “literally.” Cas looks at him, retracts his arm, and lets it fall to his side again. “Christ, Cas,” Dean says. “You oughta come with an instruction manual.”

They reach the exit of the building and get into the Impala with little interruption. Sam and Cas are still soaked, but this is pretty much the only situation capable of distracting Dean from his Baby's upholstery.

Sam and Dean engage in some small talk about the job, but that doesn’t leave the car ride completely devoid of awkward silences.

***

Cas is in a hurry to get inside first, leaving Sam and Dean outside the door alone.

“Okay, we’re here. Now what?” Sam asks quietly.

“Hell if I know.”

“Maybe you should just talk to him. Ya know, just ask what’s up.”

Dean snorts. “What could possibly be up other than his fucking dick?”

Sam shrugs. “I don’t know, maybe he doesn’t know how to... take care of it?”

“Oh Jesus, Sam.” Dean says, exasperated.  
“I’m just saying, it'd be cruel to leave him like this. We’re not strict Christian parents now, are we?”

Dean grimaces. “Okay, you have a point there. But why do I have to be the one to... talk to him?”

“He literally pulled you from hell, Dean. I think that gives you a considerably closer bond with him than me.”

Dean is always vulnerable to the Hell card. “Fine,” he says, “But I’m just gonna talk to him. And I’m gonna keep it as not-weird as possible.”

“Yeah, good luck with that,” Sam laughs.

Dean finds Cas sitting on the couch, staring at the tent in his pants intently. Sam gingerly sits on the opposite end of the couch with his laptop.

“Cas, get up.” Dean says, gesturing toward the bedroom. “Come with me.”

“Have a seat.” He says, waving to the bed across from the one he sits on. Cas sits down, leaving his coat to fall open to his sides and his dick to visibly strain against the inside of his pants.

Dean takes a deep breath. “So as far as you know, what exactly is going on, Cas?”

“Well we just drove home from a successful hunt. The car ride was rather qui-”

“No dude. I mean...” Dean vaguely gestures at Cas’s midsection,“this.”

“Oh I... I don’t know.” Cas says, looking forward, unsure.

“Well, can you remember when it started?”

“Of course,” Cas says. “During tonight’s hunt. I was stricken with a sensation unlike anything I’ve felt before.”

“But you’ve had boners before, haven’t you? What about that one time you saw porn?”

“That was only a minor incident and it went away on its own with time.” He wrinkles his brow. “But now it’s so intense that I just can’t... ignore it.”

“Well what makes this one so special?”

“I don’t know exactly.” Cas pauses to consider the night’s events.

Dean glances over Cas’s wet figure and, after a moment, makes the connection. Shit. “I think I might know what caused this, but I’d need to get Sam to do some research.”

“What?”

“No wonder he hasn’t already found any known lore about angels and holy water.”

“Dean, what is going on?” Cas asks, slightly annoyed.

Dean's getting slightly excited now; he’s figured it out. “Can’t you see, Cas? It’s the holy water! The stuff turns you on like a masochist in a leather shop!”

“That would make a lot of sense considering the fact that I felt the sensation just as the tub dropped it on us,” Cas deadpans.

“Anyway, do you know how you could take care of it without ignoring it?”

There is a brief pause as Cas stops to think for a second.

“I haven’t put enough thought or research into it to quite figure it out.”

Dean is purely dumbfounded by how foreign a concept this is to Cas. Masturbation has always just come so naturally to him.

“Really? No natural impulse whatsoever?”

“I mean, I poked it a few times but that didn’t do much to decrease the swelling.”

Dean just looks forward in disbelief. Is he seriously going to have to teach an Angel of the Lord how to jerk off?

Dean stands up and walks to the other side of the room. He just needs to take a moment. Eventually, he takes a chair from the desk and sets it up against the doorknob. Then he makes his way back toward Cas and sits down on Cas’s bed with his legs crossed. Cas seems to get the picture, because he shifts to the center of the bed and sits facing Dean.

“Okay, I’m gonna give you some advice and you need to pay close attention.” Dean says, trying not to let his nerves shine through in his tone. Cas looks at him intently, eyes wide.

“Now, the way you do this,” Dean pauses. “You gotta take... with your... hand...” Cas is still watching him as he trips over his own words.

This is not such an easy thing to explain without demonstration.

Demonstration. He briefly panics at the thought of the word in this context. It’s just so simple to explain how to do it, but not exactly how to do it well. And he wants Cas to at least... enjoy it.

Eventually he swallows his pride and reaches for Cas’s belt.  
“Dean? What are yo-”

“Shh,” Dean hushes him. “Just shut up, pay attention, and don’t tell a fucking soul about this, okay?”

Cas looks into his eyes and nods sheepishly before looking back down to watch Dean.

Before he can lose his nerve, he unbuttons and unzips Cas’s pants and begins rubbing him slowly through his boxers. Cas closes his eyes and exhales involuntarily at the sensation, at being touched like this for the first time.

After a moment, Dean scoots closer and tugs on the waistband of Cas’s boxers. He reaches his other hand inside. The angle causes Cas’s dick to spring free from his boxers. Dean bites his lip – this is it – and grasps the base of Cas’s dick, stroking slowly to the tip. Cas lets out a soft moan.

“Might wanna keep it down,” Dean whispers, “Sam’s still in the other room, probably reading or something.”

Cas nods, bottom lip between his teeth.

As Dean increases the speed of his strokes, Cas’s hips move about in small jerks. Cas just watches and breathes heavily through his mouth as Dean lets him fuck his hand. Dean uses his thumb to smear the precome beading at the shiny pink tip.

Without Dean exactly noticing, his dick hardens in his pants as well. Cas, however, does notice. Without a second thought, He reaches for Dean’s groin and starts rubbing him through his jeans.

“Wh--” Dean is taken by surprise, “Oh, what are you--”

“I’m applying what I’m learning.” Cas growls. “Please. Go on.”

He tries to keep a steady rhythm as Cas unfastens Dean’s belt and pants and strokes Dean’s length once, slowly. Dean's rhythm falters.

Cas continues to rub Dean slowly. It is obvious that this is Cas’s first time touching somebody (including himself, fuck) but that doesn't mean it feels anything less than incredible.

“Can I try something?” Cas manages to mutter through the cloud of pure arousal.

“Uh, sure,” Dean says, not completely paying attention to the implications of this request.

In one movement, Cas is suddenly straddling Dean, both of them still sitting upright. Their dicks are within inches of each other.

“Cas?-” Dean is cut off when Cas grabs his own dick in the same hand that is holding Dean’s, pressing them together.

Dean considers pulling away for a second because fucking hell what is going on--

\--But honestly, fuck it.

“Okay, angel boy, at least let me do the touching.” He says, pushing Cas away to grasp both of their erections. Cas’s hands fall to the bed behind him to support his weight as he arches his back, thrusting into Dean's hand.

Dean palms the heads to gather his own precome along with even more of Cas’s in his hand and continues stroking. “Fuck, you’re getting so wet.” Dean says. Cas is practically dripping, breathing heavily in pleasure, and his mouth falls slightly open as he looks down to watch their cocks slide together.

He’s surprised Cas isn’t coming yet. Aren’t first timers supposed to practically come on contact?

Then he decides to try something different.

“Alright Cas, bonus round.” He licks a finger on his free hand, reaches around and manages to work his hand down the back of Cas’s pants, and begins to feel around Cas’s entrance.

Cas’s entire body jerks at the feeling. “Dean-” he chokes when Dean speeds up his strokes as well, sporadically jerking both of them as fast as he can. Cas lets out a harsh gasp as he comes. It’s a relatively dry orgasm, probably due to the fact that at least half of it manifested as precome. But that doesn’t make it any less amazing for him.

Dean doesn’t take long to come himself, grunting slightly as he strokes himself through his orgasm. His come splatters all over both of their dicks, dripping sluggishly, dangerously close to the hem of Dean's pants.

Cas collapses backwards onto the bed, his legs still wrapped around Dean’s hips. They both just take a moment to lay like this and bask in the afterglow.

***

They’ve gathered themselves somewhat (meaning their dicks are no longer hanging out of their flies) and are now laying next to each other in bed.

“So was that… your first?”

“My first what exactly?” Cas asks.

“You know... orgasm.”

“Oh.” Cas frowns. “Was that the part where it felt like both my brain and genitals were exploding except in a good way?”

Dean can't help but smile. “Yes Cas, that’s an orgasm.”

“Then yes, that was my first orgasm.”

“Fuck, dude,” Dean says, shaking his head. “How have you lived up to this point without that? It’s one of the things that makes life on earth worthwhile.”

“Well, I haven’t exactly been spending most of my life on earth anyway.”

“Yeah, I guess you’ve got a point there.” Dean admits. “But anyway, did you... like it? Like, would you do it again?”

“Perhaps I will try out some of the methods I’ve learned tonight. I would also love to learn more, as I’m sure you have an entire catalog of techniques in your mind. And I will say, that was one of the most amazing moments I have experienced on earth.” He pauses, completely nonchalant. “And I’m glad to have experienced it with you.”

Dean nearly chokes. “Wh- why? Why with me?”

“Because of all humans I’ve met before, you’re the one I trust the most.”

“Wow, uh. Thank you Cas.” Dean replies kind of awkwardly. “I mean, coming from an angel that does sound like quite an honor.”

Cas innocently cuddles up to Dean and closes his eyes. Dean would normally pull away, but that last comment created such an affectionate and comfortable vibe that he is completely okay with this.

They both eventually drift off, remaining intertwined throughout the night.

***

Dean is the first to open his eyes to sunlight streaming in the window and birds chirping outside.

He gets up slowly to avoid disturbing Cas, and walks into the living room to find Sam asleep on the couch with headphones in. Fuck, he thinks. I was in there all night with him. How the hell am I supposed to explain that?

He goes to the bathroom to rinse his face off and stares at the mirror for a moment to think of an explanation.

Eventually he emerges. By that time, Sam is over in the kitchen getting some cereal. “Morning,” He says. “So uh, how’d it go?”

Dean tries to hide nervousness and replies, “Well, I did what I said I would. I gave him a rundown on how to deal with it. But uh, I was just about ready to pass out from how tired that hunt made me, so I just kind of went to sleep in one bed and I guess he went to sleep in the other one.”

“Alright,” Sam says, blessedly unquestioning. “Well anyway, I managed to do some research on, uh, what could turn an angel on like that.”

“Oh really,” Dean says nonchalantly, like this is new information.

“Yeah, get this. The lore says holy water.”

“Huh,” Dean says and pauses. “Who’d have thought.”

“Yeah, and get this. The arousal brought on by contact with holy water is so intense that it absolutely will not go away without... well, release.”

“Well that would explain why he just could not ignore it like before.”

“Yeah.” Sam pauses. “Wait, were you in there all night?”

“Uh... yeah.”

“Dude, why didn’t you leave him alone?”

“Well... you were already on the couch. And it’s his damn fault if he didn’t have the sense to go in the bathroom for that.”

Sam frowns. “Dean, he’s not human. He didn’t have the sense to touch himself.”

“Well it’s all said and done now. I was fast asleep all night though, so for all I know, he could’ve done it while I was out. Or he could’ve noticed me leaving the room a few minutes ago and be in there doing it right no-”

“Dude.” Sam interrupts. “Let’s not think about this too hard. Just have some cereal and relax. It should be over for now.”

“Yeah. Let’s just try to keep the angel away from holy water and we should be fine.”

Dean turns on the TV and they eat cereal together and don't talk about it after that.


End file.
